How do I stop criticizing myself?

How do I stop criticizing myself?
Short answer: befriend your inner critic

Long answer: realize that your inner critic is a conditioned response to being afraid of your unique differences being judged, to the shame of feeling like you don’t belong. Stop fighting against your inner critic. Stop resisting your natural feelings & just let them flow. Accept it all & let yourself grieve. Then pick up your pen. Begin to gently question your stories. Find something true about yourself that’s a little bit kinder to focus on. (Ex: “I hate my thighs,” -> “I have thighs.”) Don’t try to “fix” your inner critic— instead, be curious. Ask her questions instead of just instantly assuming “I’m a failure,” & giving into the old story. From there you’ll begin to feel compassion for your inner critic & see how she’s been desperately trying to keep you “safe” with shame, not hurt you. Eventually you will befriend her. And when you do, the shame & criticism will dissolve into Love & self acceptance, into peace of body, mind, heart, & soul. THIS is where you write a new story. ✍🏻

You just want to belong.
You just want to know that you’re innately good & not broken.
You just want to be loved & accepted for who & what you are, without pretense.

This is the foundation for the life of your wildest dreams, full of absolutely WILD pleasure.
And it doesn’t have to be a journey of excruciating cleansing fire like many think.
This is a process of knitting yourself back together. The inner work is not about punishing yourself into being better, or accepting that you’re just “broken,” it’s about gently sloughing away all that isn’t You.

Your inner critic just wants to be loved.
Your shame just wants to be accepted.
There is nothing about yourself you need to fix in order to experience peace & pleasure in your DAILY life.
Once you love & accept the unloving & unaccepting parts of you, they begin to settle down. Their message has been heard. They have been seen. You can thank & release them.

Unraveling our shame stories is foundational to a life of pleasure. It’s self trust, safety, healing.
This is what we do in coaching. Come do the inner work, write a new story, & watch yourself BLOOM. 🌸

Read more about my 1:1 coaching program DEVOTION here.