So You Have an Overwhelmingly Messy House…

Does your home get overwhelmingly messy sometimes? Same. 🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Unless you’re a SuperVirgo™️, I think it happens to most of us. For me it happens when I’m distracted by my thoughts + inner world and forget that Actual Real Life is happening all around me. Whatever triggers your mess, it’s important not to shame yourself for it.

Sure, you could try to “motivate yourself” to “get it together once and for all,” but when we use shame and/or self-coercion as a motivator, we just end up disconnecting from ourselves. Our culture tells us that working harder will give us the results we’re looking for. And sure, maybe an all-day cleaning sesh will leave your house sparkling and you exhausted.

But what happens tomorrow?

Because you and I both know it’s not going to last.

The point of cleaning isn’t to have a sparkling house, it’s to enjoy living in your space. Cleaning is for YOU, not for the nosy neighbors or the WASP-y relatives or whoever else incorrectly believes that they get to judge you.

Having a messy house (which is pretty normal, btw) is NOT a moral failure. It’s just something that happens when you’re a human being living life.

By allowing yourself to be human (which includes messy houses because, “hi we live here.”👋), you are surrendering to what already is:

Your house is messy. You don’t like it. The end.

No blaming, no shaming, no making dramatic resolutions to change your entire identity and become the next Martha Stewart (unless that’s vibes). You don’t need to fight your human nature, you just need to accept it. Anything else is just a roundabout form of denial.

You will act in accordance with what you believe about yourself, not the other way around. When you believe good things about yourself, you’ll see your home for what it is: just a place for you to feel comfortable and safe while you build relationships and live your life. It matters how you talk to yourself. The thoughts you think become the ideas you believe which then become what you base your worldview on- even for stuff as ‘insignificant’ as cleaning.

Your home is there to serve you, not the other way around.