This isn’t going to be another one of those posts telling you what to declutter and how exactly to do it. You already know how to declutter. In theory, decluttering is quite simple and straightforward! You go through stuff and get rid of some of it, depending on how beautiful or useful it is to you. See? It’s really quite simple.

But the physical stuff causing all the clutter isn’t really the problem is it? The real problem is the mental blocks that make decluttering so difficult. You probably don’t need a new “method” for decluttering- you don’t need to follow someone else’s idea of what to declutter and what to keep because you’re not them. Nobody can tell you what the most important things are in your life.

What you really need is a lighter heart, not necessarily less stuff. The goal of decluttering is feeling unburdened in your home. Simply getting rid of things isn’t going to do that.

The act of decluttering is so difficult for so many of us because the things we own represent memories we want to hold onto, potential futures we dream of, the people we wish we were, and the lives we wish we had. The problem isn’t that we have these things, it’s that we hold them tightly.

I’ll use an example from my own life: Back before I finally got pregnant with Po, I had boxes of baby clothes I’d been saving for years. The problem wasn’t that I was collecting things for an ideal someday, but that I treated the baby clothes like sacred artifacts in a way that hurt me. It would have been perfectly fine if I hadn’t gotten so attached to the baby clothes and the future they represented, but I let it get to an unhealthy level. I was using the stored clothes as a way to avoid my then-current babyless reality because I couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t until I faced the pain of the present that the clutter began to lose its grip on me. As I started seriously decluttering, I kept some of the baby clothes, but loosened my tight grip on my one ideal potential future.

Even clutter that doesn't have an intense backstory can keep us in its grips in the same way. An abundance of craft or office supplies can represent a side of us we wish we could let out more. Instead of using the clutter as a way to freeze time and/or subconsciously punish ourselves for not measuring up, we can release the hold these things have on us. Then, we can release the clutter we no longer need and can begin to feel free in our homes and in our lives.

So if you’re like me and can’t seem to just “buck up” and get it done (I hate that phrase and the way it’s used to shame our emotions and/or internal struggles), I hope this post helps you to understand your struggle a little better. If you’re struggling with clutter in your home, go easy on yourself. Beating yourself up won’t make the clutter go away- it will just make you feel worse about it.

So go easy on yourself, friends. Our lives and homes will never be perfect. And anyway, perfection is not the goal.