The art of holding space
One of the things you’ll see me reference here frequently is the notion of holding space for myself, someone, or something else. This is because I believe that holding space is one of the most important elements of our self love & enlightenment journey.
But what does it mean to hold space? In my broadest definition, holding space means to accept and allow reality to be as it is. It means sitting with uncomfortable emotions and letting them take their time, without judging or trying to ‘fix’ the feelings.
I believe doing this is the key to unlocking the door to true self love. When we can genuinely accept ourselves as we are without judgement (wild & often wacky emotions and all) we have reached the entrance to the path to deep, lasting self love.
Here is a simple 5 step process to help you get started holding space for yourself:
Set up your space. Make sure you’re in a safe and quiet environment where you won’t be disturbed. The more you practice the art of holding space, the less you’ll “need” to prioritize this. But guess what? Just because you don’t “need” it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prioritize it!
Breathe. Unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, and begin to breathe deeply.
As you breathe, allow whatever is bothering you to come up. Holding space is a lot like meditating. In my practice, holding space involves inviting the discomfort to reveal itself and simply watching my thoughts as they swirl around. This can be scary and extremely uncomfortable, so don’t pressure yourself to go farther or faster than you need to. You can also work with a coach or a therapist who will hold space for you, offsetting some of the intensity.
Remind yourself that it’s OK to feel or think whatever you are feeling or thinking at the moment. Remember: thoughts & feelings are NOT the same as actions. We can often judge our darkest feelings/thoughts as a reflection of our character instead of as the intrusive thoughts that they are.
Work with your breath and continue to practice non-judgement with yourself until you begin to access a place of calm, inner peace. Great job! Keep practicing and you’ll be well on your way to the deepest, most fulfilling self love you could imagine.
Holding space for yourself is as much an art form as it is a lifetime practice. Let yourself be a beginner and celebrate your baby steps. Without exception, behind each and every big, shiny Victory is a series of Little Victories that led you there. You’re doing wonderful things.