The Importance of Messy Pauses

What did you learn about rest? You might have been led to believe that rest is the same as relaxing. After all, we’re so chronically overworked that rest and relaxation end up blurring together because we simply don’t have enough time or energy for both.

But I’d like to gently propose something to you: sometimes something restorative may fill your cup while actually requiring more energy or effort.

These are what I call “messy pauses.” They’re still a pause (a rest), but they’re usually messy! For example, if you’re an avid home chef & find true joy in it, the way you feel while cooking something may light you up like nothing else- but it also means you’ll probably have to do a ton of dishes and clean the kitchen after. Me & Po decided to paint pinecones to look like snowy evergreen trees this week. It was a lot of fun and felt really restorative while we were doing it, but it also required a lot of cleanup. See what I mean?

So often we miss how the tentacles of perfectionism have wiggled their way into everything we do. If we’re busy thinking our rest & self care time has to be just so, perfectionism is robbing us of that rest. There is a big difference between the exhaustion that comes from doing something joyful and restorative and the soul-crushing fatigue that comes from doing things that drain us. Not all tiredness is equal!

Now I’m not saying you should stop relaxing— taking luxurious baths & vegging out and watching old movies can be delightfully restorative— I’m saying you need to add MORE rest time in to your day, just a different kind. Instead of avoiding the fun messes of life like painting, cooking, or creating something, throw yourself into them fully and let them fill you up. You’ll find that you feel more deeply rested by truly living than by simply managing your physical or mental exhaustion.

I have missed out on so many opportunities to stay present & allow my soul to be restored because I was resistant to the messiness of it all. But despite all our efforts to create a perfectly curated life, the messy middle is where the magic really happens. It’s safe for you to embrace the messy pauses.

Remember: YOU get to choose how you live your life. You can say no to structuring your life based on someone else’s expectations and instead choose to fill your life with whatever kind of stuff you want.

If your clothes get a little messy in the process? That’s ok! It just means you’re choosing to fully embrace the moment and I’m so damn proud of you for it.

If you’re curious about working one on one with me, book a free 15 minute virtual coffee char here so we can get to know each other!