If you find yourself paralyzed by clutter time and time again, that means something in the purging process isn't working. Something is missing from the process. And that something is the root cause of the clutter.

Some examples might be:

Remembering the feeling of not having enough growing up and the fear that it will happen again.

Guilt over parting with gifts you've been given that you don't really like.

Being afraid you'll forget the memory of who you were or how you felt if you get rid of the small token that reminds you of that time.

Not wanting to face the negative feelings/memories you may encounter when going through clutter piles.

Aspirational collecting for future dreams that never seem to pan out, but might someday and the unwillingness to let them go.

If you haven't guessed, these are some examples from my journey through decluttering. It's non-exhaustive, but these are the main things that prevented me from living in a home I enjoyed for so long.

I had gone through seasons of decluttering before, I'd organized, I'd made the commitment that this time would be different. But I avoided digging deep into why I had this clutter problem and subsequently, it kept coming back.

So here are some questions you can ask yourself about whatever clutter you may have. (And remember, having some amount of clutter is normal and human! Perfection is not the goal)

1. How do I want to feel in this space? This question is very important but also very obvious because my guess is that you don't want to feel closed in by clutter anymore. But go a little deeper than that. Why do you want to feel that way?

2. What is preventing me from feeling that way? The answer to this is most likely NOT clutter. Let's use one of my examples: I had a room full of clutter that remained kept behind a closed door. My logical brain assumed the physical clutter was the problem, but the thing preventing me from enjoying the space was the negative memories I was avoiding. Once I faced them head on and cleared them, the space felt lighter. I felt lighter. I suddenly wanted to declutter because I wasn't afraid anymore.

3. What feelings does the clutter bring up? Maybe you need to dig deeper into the previous question. There might be some subconscious blocks preventing you from knowing what you really want. Ponder this question for a while until you find something that truly clicks.

4. Will less stuff really make me feel better? Why or why not? Have you ever decluttered before only to have it come back the next week, month, or year? That points to less really not being the issue. It doesn't have to be some big, traumatic answer either if that's not your story. Maybe you just need to build a habit of putting things away or working on keeping only what you have the space for.

I hope you find these questions helpful! Do you feel like you need to pre-declutter first?